The Curry Rhapsody

(to the music of Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen)


Naan, just killed a man

poppadom against his head

Had lime pickle now he's dead.

Naan, dinner's just begun

But now I'm gonna crap it all away.

Naan, ooh, ooh

Didn't mean to make you cry

Seen nothing yet, just see the loo tomorrow

Curry on, curry on

Cause nothing really Madras.


Too late, my dinner's gone

Sends shivers down my spine

Rectum aching all the time

Goodbye onion bhaji, I've got to go

Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo.

Naan, ooh, ooh

This doopiaza is so mild

I sometimes wish we'd never come here at all.


guitar solo


I see a little chicken tikka on the side

Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh,

pass the chutney made of mango

Vindaloo does nicely

Very very spicy


Meat!  Byriani (Byriani), Byriani (Byriani)

Byriani and a naan  (A vindaloo loo loo loo)

I've eaten balti, somebody help me

He's eaten balti, get him to the lavatory

Stand you well back 'Case the loo is quarantined...

Here it comes, There it goes, Technicolor yawn

I chunder No! It's coming up again (There he goes)

I chunder, it's coming back again (There he goes)

Coming back again (up again)

Here it comes again.

(No no no no no no NO)


On my knees, I'm on my knees

On his knees, Oh, there he goes

This vindaloo is about to wreck my guts

Poor me.. poor me...poor meee!


guitar solo


So you think you can chunder and then feel alright?

So you try to eat curry and drink beer all night?

Oh maybe,

But now you'll puke like a baby

Just had to come out

It just had to come right out in here.


guitar solo


slow bit


Korma, sag or bhuna

bhaji, balti or naan

Nothing makes a difference

Nothing makes a difference

To meee.... 


(Any way, the wind blows....shshshsh)